Hello, world. I have a confession to make. To those of you who already know me, you probably already know this. Some of you might even know about this from first hand experience. But for those of you that don’t, I think it’s time I came clean. In my regular life, I’m not really shy about this subject, but for some reason I tend to really censor myself when it comes to public writing. Regardless, here it is.
(and I mean, Really Love…)
Yeah, that’s right. Sex. There. It’s out. I love talking about it, reading about it, hearing stories about it, and most definitely – having it (with boys, with girls, alone). Hell, as I write this, I’m already thinking about the sex I could be having right now but am not for the sake of writing about sex.
Now, I’ve been blogging for many, many years. And often, when I’m writing about an experience in my life, I gloss over the sexual aspects. To put it in Seinfeld terms, I have a bad tendency of Yadda Yadda-ing sex.
However, I’ve also realized that when telling stories in my own life, people seem to respond pretty well to the sex parts. I mean hell, there’s a reason people say that sex sells. There’s a reason why Candace Bushnell could technically retire now that they’ve got yet another Sex and the City movie in the works. So then why is it so terrifying for me at this very moment to be baring it all (figuratively, anyway) to the world?
I suppose it’s the same reason why I’m writing this all to begin with. Sex, as old as humanity (and then some), continues to be a taboo subject. It’s mind-boggling when you really think about it. Over the centuries, we’ve created so many rules and regulations in regards to sex. When you can have sex, where, with whom. In some societies, polyamory is king. In others, adulterers can face a death penalty. We live in a society where we frown upon adult men having sex with girls 17 years of age that might look much older, but we encourage the use of school girl uniforms and juvenile pigtails on girls that might be just a few months older (as long as they’re 18, right?)
And I guess it’s all these things that bother me about it. I grew up slack-Catholic but in general, my family has always been very conservative. I know this because I am 27 years old and still cannot sit still in the room with my parents if there’s an impending sex scene in a movie. I still have memories of being told to leave the room or turn around and hum to myself as a child when these would come up.
Throughout my life, I’ve watched movies and television show, read books and listened to songs about men “scoring with chicks” and how Real Men always have a lot of sex, preferably with different people.
At the same time, there was also lot of “girls should be virginal and pure” and “girls who have sex with multiple partners are whores.” Still, throughout this, I found certain female role models who were open about their sexuality. Elaine Benes of Seinfeld, for one. She had no problems telling men what she wanted. She had sex but was also responsible (anyone remember The Sponge?*) She was smart and sassy and good looking without being completely unrealistic and I loved her for it. In later years, my attention turned to the ladies of SATC, particularly Samantha Jones.
Samantha never had a problem telling it like it is. She enjoyed sex, quite possibly more than most people, and never allowed people to put her down or make her feel bad about it.
And why should we feel bad? Why is it that some people are so uncomfortable talking about sex? And why is it important that we have more open discussions about sex and sexuality, and about being smart and safe and comfortable around sex? Because there’s still work to be done in opening the minds of others to the fact that sex is normal, natural, and can be one of the greatest things you experience! And I don’t just mean standard missionary boy-girl sex. Sex can be with a partner, alone, multiple partners, with toys, over the phone, on the internet, even via text thanks to the advent of technology and the steady libido of the human race. Many people still don’t take full advantage of all the different ways to live a sexually satisfying life though. Many people still feel shame about these issues. And on a more serious note, there is still a lot of sexual violence going on throughout the world, especially toward women. This ties in to other sex-related topics: rape, incest, sex trafficking, etc. Those are also subjects I feel very strongly about. Sexual violence perpetuates the cycle of negative views toward sex. Someone that has been raped or abused may have, among other issues, difficulties with their sexuality. Most societies also have negative views of sex workers, whether they be prostitutes or pornographic actors. I could go on and on, but I’m sure you see where I’m coming from.
Basically, I want to create a space to discuss sex because, like I said, I really do love it. Whether it be my own personal experiences and discoveries, or about the topic in general. And I want others to see it and learn things and become enlightened about their own sexuality, or at the very least have a laugh whenever I divulge some of my more interesting personal encounters, as I’m sure I will. (Don’t worry, I won’t use real names so as to protect the innocent!)
So there it is. I love sex, and you’re about to start reading a whole lot more about it soon enough. If that’s your cup of tea, feel free to click on the ol’ Follow or Subscribe buttons on the page and you’ll get more than your fill of cunt-chat and dick-discussion in the future.
Let’s end this with one of my favorite sexy-time songs of all time:
PS. Of course i’ll still be writing about other things – writing and travel and whatnot. It’ll just be a bit more raunchy. I’m sure you don’t mind. 😉
PSS. This post was in part inspired by Girl with a one-track mind and in another part inspired by a former hook-up and friend of mine. You might read about him later.
*Bit of trivia: Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls is the man Elaine is dating and trying to decide is “sponge-worthy” or not